the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
