i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
