Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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