Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
