I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
