i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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