Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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