I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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