I'm really into asian looking animals
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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