week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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