If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize