so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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