I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
