Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
