he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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