Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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