I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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