Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The air taste purple.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
