Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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