You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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