I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
