My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
