i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
