i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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