i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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