I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize