seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize