What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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