what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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