if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
