tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
