My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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