im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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