glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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