that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
