new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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