I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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