A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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