operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
