It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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