Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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