i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
