fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
