what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
