"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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