i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
