if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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