i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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