what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
