i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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