handjob tips. give me some.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
