I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
