I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
