its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
