i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
