Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
