how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
