I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
