You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
