Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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