I want to make a zoo with you.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
