So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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