omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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